happy….. and sad.

I hate that combination of feelings…. I was reading on The Nest today that a girl I “know” delivered her twins yesterday at 31 weeks – they were mo/mo twins, extremely high risk, bedrest for mom from 24 weeks on – which is great news.  I’m so happy that everything went well and her boys are here safely and are doing well.

But…. it hits me.  When I first came to The Nest and started charting back in November, she had just started TTC too.  Her 31 week pregnancy milestone makes me realize that 31 weeks of charting and treatment have gone by and I’m still not pregnant.  I know that’s nothing compared to what some other girls have seen….. moms now having their 2nd child while they’re still TTC #1…… but I had the selfish thought that I wouldn’t be “one of them.”  Turns out, I am.

And, to top it all off, my closest friend confided to me last night that she just finished her first month off of birth control, and is doing the “if it happens, it happens.”  If she gets pregnant and I’m not, it’s going to be tough.



  1. Leah said,

    July 16, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    =( I’m sorry dear. I know anything I say isn’t going to help or console you, but hang in there.


  2. Nikki said,

    July 16, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    Was that Sweater? I remember when she got her BFP. She started trying when I did. I am glad the babies were okay. Man this IF stuff sucks 😦

  3. ilovewillie said,

    July 16, 2008 at 10:01 pm

    I know what you mean…it sucks. My little sister is 4 months pregnant with baby number 2…and I started TTC before she was even pregnant with baby number 1! I too am tired of hearing about new pregnancies popping up all over the place…I want so badly to be happy for everyone but it’s so hard when I can’t seem to have my own after 18 months!
    Anyways…I feel you. =)

  4. JenM said,

    July 17, 2008 at 2:08 am

    I know the feeling. My best friend was TTC #1 for a couple months before we started trying. Her baby is 7 months old now, and they are thinking about trying again soon for #2. I told her that if we’re going to be pregnant at the same time, she better give me more of a head start this time!

  5. MrsMay said,

    July 17, 2008 at 4:57 am

    I hear you babe. I was bummed when my SIL announced that she was pg after we had been trying for a couple months.. then even more bummed when she gave birth and I still wasn’t pg…now even MORE bummed that the baby is 3 months old and I’m stiiiilll not. Don’t feel guilty. It’s expected. It’s rough.

  6. Echloe said,

    July 18, 2008 at 7:30 pm

    Uhh, I know what you are feeling. More than a few of my nestie friends who started TTC at the same time as me have already had their babies. I’m happy for them but very sad for myself. Even still, there are a couple of women who have gotten pregnant, had M/C and are pregnant again in the same timeline as I’m just still trying. I don’t know why that hurts so much (since they are the ones grieving) I just know that it makes me feel even more inadequate somehow.

  7. July 19, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    I’m so sorry, Amanda! I so remember those feelings 13 years ago . . . if you need to talk about it, you know where I am – I’ve got pretty good ears / shoulders. Hear if you need me!

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