that’s what the bottle is labeled from the RE’s office….. i had to laugh at that one!  i was sent home today with a chemistry set of sorts – a sterile cup, a syringe, and a bottle with some orangey-pink stuff in it that’s labeled “vitasperm”.  apparently it’s some sort of extender stuff that keeps the sperm longer.  i dunno.

anyways, the instructions say that an hour before collection, i’m supposed to take the refrigerated vitasperm bottle out and let it get to room temp.  after the deposit is made in the sterile cup, i have to let it liquify for 30 minutes, then draw it up in the syringe and squirt it (hee hee) into the bottle with the pinky-orange stuff in it. 

the paperwork says that it will keep sperm viable for up to 18 hours… and i had no idea that semen can be fed-exed, because there’s also shipping instructions written on the form.  maybe this will give us some leeway with timing.

i’m just waiting on nurse j’s call to let me know if i should trigger tonight or tomorrow.  i had 3 mature-sized follies on u/s today, and numerous other immature ones.  the only bad thing is i’ve been in pretty bad pain today on my left side, which i’m sure is just due to the stims.  my follicles looked pretty smushed up on that side today, too. 

what i wouldn’t give for a lortab right now! =(


stim check #2

i had 4 follies in the 12-14mm range – yay!  i’m continuing on 225u gonal-f and ganirelix today through sunday, and will go back on monday for check #3.  if they are mature on monday, i’ll trigger that night and IUI on wednesday. i just dropped another $210 to freedom pharmacy to have 2 more ganirelix overnighted to me to get me through the weekend.  =( 

i’m getting anxious and nervous.  this is really our first and only shot at cycling…. if it doesn’t work, it’ll be months before we can go through this again.

i am so grateful

for receiving free meds this cycle…. i can’t convey how much of a burden it took off of me to have qualified for a program that donates meds to couples with no infertility benefits.  if you haven’t checked it out, go to

the program is called compassionate care, and you can get more info on it by calling 866-538-7879.  you have to be under the care of a reproductive endocrinologist, have no prescription benefits for infertility medications, and meet an income requirement.  fertility lifelines faxed the forms to me, and i filled them out and faxed them back the same day along with my tax information, paystubs, and insurance card for verification of benefits.  within 3 days, i was notified that their committee approved us for the program.  the meds were overnighted to my RE’s office the next day.

i was sent a gonal-f 900u pen, 3 gonal-f 300u pens, and an ovidrel trigger injection.  nurse j. threw in two injections of ganirelix that she had at the office….

for a grand total of:  *** $1787.74 ***

gonal-f 900u:  $779.88

gonal-f 300u:  $259.96 x 3

ganirelix:  $81.99 x 2

ovidrel:  $64.00

(prices from

the only things i will have to pay out of pocket for are my prometrium rx (which insurance may cover), and possibly more ganirelix if needed.  if we hadn’t qualified for this program, we would have had to save up for 2-3 additional months just to cover the meds alone.  seeing these numbers makes me so grateful that there are programs out there to help people who have hit roadblocks with insurance coverage.

stim check #1

i’m kicking myself right now for not asking more questions.  =( 

i started 150u of gonal-f on sunday night – not as bad as i thought it would be – i’ve been on byetta before, and it was the same type of pen, just a different needle size (bigger – eek!).  i did 150u on sun-mon-tue, then went in this morning for b/w and u/s.  the u/s showed an 11mm follie on the left, a few in the 8-9 range, and a few in the 6-8 range.  i had an e2 and lh drawn, but forgot to ask for the numbers.  oops #1.

nurse j. told me to do one more night of 150u, then do 225u on thur + start ganirelix, and come back in friday morning for more b/w and another u/s.  i jotted down all the info before we hung up.  after sitting there for a minute, i’m thinking to myself, “is this good?  it must mean i’m responding, if they’re starting the ganirelix (which keeps you from ovulating on your own).  maybe we’ll get to the IUI sooner than we thought.  should i call back?  i don’t want to harass them…..”  oops #2.

so, i’m going to sit on my hands for now, do as i was instructed to do, and go back on friday for another stim check.  easier said than done.

p.s.  i forgot to add that i almost had a stroke when i saw the terror-toddler-mom from last week walk into the office today, but thankfully, no kids in tow.  maybe someone told her something last time. =)

my day at the RE (long)…..

sorry this is going to be such a long post, but i have to share.  it’s too good not to. =)

i get to dr. d’s office bright and early this morning for cd3 stuff, and i’m the second one there – one other person ahead of me.  great, i should be in and out of here quick – or so i thought.

i’m sitting in the waiting room, reading conceive magazine, and enjoying the peace and quiet.  a mom and dad come in with a little girl, about 4, and a baby boy that looks about 3-4 months old.  the first thing that irks me is that the little girl is wearing a four-point harness attached to a leash.  the second thing that bugs me is that the minute they walk into the door, the baby starts squalling like a banshee.

mom goes to sign in, and the child immediately reaches up and starts banging on the glass window at the checkout counter.  mom drops the leash, but doesn’t do anything.  child proceeds to run across the waiting room, flip the lights off and on, tips over a floor plant, and jumps on the couch and starts bouncing.

baby is still squalling its head off, so dad starts to make a bottle.  apparently he’s taking too long, because banshee baby is starting to turn purple from crying so hard.  mom tells toddler terror, “no no, julian, naughty-naughty” in an australian accent.  child ignores her.

still trying to read my magazine, i’m ignoring the whole scene.  until naughty-naughty julian grabs my purse and starts to run.  i get up out of my chair and snatch it back…. no apology from mom.  mom takes harness off of child and sits down to fill out her paperwork.  banshee baby is still screaming because dad still hasn’t figured out how to mix the damn bottle.

i get up and walk out the door, telling the other woman in the waiting room that if they call my name, let them know i’ll just be a minute.  i go up and down the hall a few times to kill some time, walk back in, and the woman that was there when i first got there rolls her eyes at me, and smirks.  i sit down in the chair next to her and whisper, “god help us all”.  she laughs under her breath.

banshee baby finally gets his bottle and starts to calm down. nurse j finally calls my name, and i mutter a “thank you jesus” and scurry back into the u/s room.  nurse j apologizes profusely and says, “i tried to rescue you as soon as i could.”  =)  i strip from the waist down and climb up into the stirrups, when u/s tech comes in and says, “i see you’ve met julian already” and gives me a side-eye. 

i tell her there’s got to be a family like that in every office, because we sure have our share.  the tech says that all 4 of them always come in together, and last time, the the little boy  pulled the plug on the u/s machine after fiddling with all the buttons while she was out of the room.  i say, “wait a sec…. the kid with the long blond hair on a leash is a boy?”  this kid had hair down to his waist and bangs, i kid you not.

i finish up with the u/s, and nurse j goes over when to start my injects and when to come back.  she tells me that this family has done ivf for both kids, and is starting a third cycle because they want to have five kids total.  i ask for an rx for xanax for my next visit, and she assures me they won’t be in at the same time i will.  thank you jesus.  i walk out, and the woman i was sitting beside now has her face in a magazine, trying not to laugh out loud at terror toddler, who is lying on his back on the floor, propelling himself around on the carpet with his feet.

first of all, i can’t imagine letting my child get away with acting that way in public… especially in a doctor’s office.  and why was the kid on a leash anyways?  hello, it’s called handholding.  and if a child is doing something wrong,  you either remove the object that’s causing the behavior, or take the child out of the situation.  it’s called discipline 101.

also, if you are a woman who has gone through infertility, wouldn’t you have a tiny bit of respect for others to not bring your baby into the office, knowing that there would be other infertile women there? they ought to have a sign up requesting that you do not bring small children in to your appointments, just out of courtesy to everyone else. 

enough ranting for today.  i just don’t understand some people.

i’m actually happy to see FP.

it showed today, so i’m off to the RE bright and early tomorrow. they open at 730am, but last time i got there at 715 and there were 4 women already ahead of me, waiting by the door for them to open.

so i’ll be there bright and early at 7am, sitting in the hallway reading my book and munching on my sauage mcgriddle. =)


finally, we’re back in the game. i was able to take a disbursement on my 403b before it lost any more money, and it’s going towards our cycling fee next month. as soon as FP shows (hopefully by the end of the week), i’ll call and get set up for monitoring.


That’s the total cost of my lap from November. My portion of it was around $390 after insurance paid their portion, but when I saw that huge number on my EOB, I nearly died. It makes me very appreciative for the health insurance we have now, and even for what we had at the time…. even though it was cruddy insurance, it’s better than having none at all.

one year ago today…

i was here.  well, i’m a day early, but you get the picture.  it kills me to read this and remember the optimism i had back then…. thinking that “this will be the month!” 

i want that back…. the positive outlook, the hope, the thoughts of “how will i tell him?”….. and wondering when i could turn this blog into a baby blog. 

i can’t believe how long it’s been, and how rough of a journey it still is.

box o’ meds has arrived!

i didn’t have time to take a pic, but my goody box included:

1 – 900u Gonal-F pen
3 – 300u Gonal-F pens
1 – Ovidrel prefilled syringe
2 – Ganirelix prefilled syringes

And, yet again, things have come up that we have to put treatment on hold.  I had a few medical bills come in from my laparoscopy back in November that had to be taken care of, so we’re back to square one with saving up to pay the monitoring fee. 

Can I tell you how much I HATE being OOP 100%?  It truly sucks.  I’m even looking into other jobs that offer some sort of fertility benefits.  At this point, even 50% coverage is better than nothing.

:: sigh ::

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